Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Winter eh?

Trip to Florida was awesome!

But ever since I got back it's been snowing and cold! I know I know. That's what Canada is about... still was a tad early for me.

Now we're having a couple of warm days before the return of cold and snow possibly for good!

Been having great sessions with my therapist doing lots of progress. But my progress seems to trigger people around me (namely my partner and her daughter who hates me).

My partner is very happy and supportive nonetheless and it's finally allowing our relationship to progress even more so that's pretty cool.

I've finally stepped up to the plate and offer to volunteer for a hockey league. First shift will be this weekend so I'll see how it goes. But I'm glad to finally do something outside of work I'm passionate about so I'm hoping it'll give me some direction as to where my career might possibly go next.

The goal is to find work I'm passionate about that I could eventually be paid for (if I move up within the organisation or by finding a different job in the same field) and that is easily "moveable" (as in can do it just about anywhere if I live on the road)

My gf also found a pretty badass  bicycle shop so I want to seriously workout this winter so I can commute to work next year and be a part of their commuting club!

Yeah I know so many projects so little time... oh well sure beats the hell out of being depressed! ;)

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Leeeeeet the sunshiiiiiine

Leeeeeet the sunshiiiiiine iiiin :)

Yes Florida's sunshine is doing lots of good. I'm still congested and got a sore throat but it's helping!

The drive down went very well. We took yesterday easy to get our energy back.

Today we're off to the beach and we might go see a hockey game  tonight.

Will see if I end up doing some kind of activity besides playing in the ocean. :)

Friday, November 7, 2014

Weird week

This week's been pretty weird. Been busy at work + dealing with my partner's anxiety due to my upcoming trip.

I'm driving down to Florida with my folks and will stay there most of the week before flying back home.

I'm super excited about it cause its gonna be fun but I know it's hard on my partner so I've been trying to focus more on what she needs in order to be ok.

So today is my last day of work (if you can call that work since I'm not sure I'm gonna accomplish much)

Looking forward to working out in the sun + relaxing + taking time away from work and the stepchildren.


When I come back though I want to start using a food scale so I stop eyeballing my portions + will start working out regularly again.

My throat is still bothering me and I'm a bit congested still so I'm trying to take a daily multivitamin to see if it can help me kick that cold to the curb once and for all.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Barely making it

I'm just now starting to feel better! It's been over a week!!!

I still get headaches + it's painful to swallow later in the afternoon and evening. :(((

And my energy levels really drop around 3-4 PM and then I'm done for the day at 7 or 8 PM .

So I cancelled next week's appointments with my trainer and nutritionist (what's the point if I've been sick for 3 of the 4 weeks since my last appt??)

Haven't swimmed either... will probably start again tomorrow.

Will slowly start working out again progressively. Don't wanna go too fast too soon in order to avoid getting sick again.

Besides that not much... making progress with the therapist. Slowly but surely. Only prob being my insurance will run out soon so I'll have to figure out if I can see her every other week instead of every week until the start of the new insurance year...

Counting down the days before my trip to Florida :)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sick again

I'm pissed!!

Started being sick again when I went to bed Friday night. Chills, fever and all :(((

Missed work yesterday cause I still wasn't better despite dedicating my weekend to it!

A bit better today but my throat is pretty sore.

Yeah I'm still pretty pissed. I mean I know the first time I got sick a couple of weeks ago wasn't that bad. In fact I was quite proud of myself for being able to keep working out as I was fighting the bug.

But damn this time around it really kicked me to the curb. I had zero energy and killer headaches :(

So yeah I lost my Nike Fuelband streak after over 100 days :((((

Have to start over in order to get the "Every damn day" trophy. For now I'm not even close to reaching my daily goal lol

Will see where I'm at this weekend cause my schedule is too busy this week to add workouts to my resting up plan.

Also upset cause I was planning to slowly build from where I was at by adding runs and bike rides here and there. But now this cold has knockede back a couple of paces so I'll have to rebuild to even get back to where I was before it all started :(

Oh well fall down 9 times get up 10?

Thursday, October 16, 2014


Ok so therapy is fucking hard!

I'm struggling on multiple levels... I'm bored at work cause I dont know what I'm supposed to do while waiting for the reorganization to be over...

I also feel totally disconnected from work. I look around and see people chasing their tails and I just feel so slow compared to them. Reminds me of the Matrix. I've seen the other side and they don't... and I've made the decision of not going back to that disconnected fast paced world. I just don't know where I'm supposed to go from here.

Also pretty upset/stressed and very anxious about the stepdaughter moving back in with us. There haven't been any serious talks and she hasn't told her dad yet but every time she comes she's working on cleaning up her room and told her mom she wants to repaint it (I really don't wanna pay for that since she had already picked the actual colors but in my generous way told my partner that I might pay half but no more?!?)

I feel like everybody just wants me to fix myself so that they can all go back to whatever they were doing before I moved in. I feel it's all up to me to grin and bear it so that everybody but me will be happy.

Can't seem to be able to breathe deeply since then. I will like I'm on death row just waiting for the unavoidable to happen.

So my training sucks and I'm eating junk to try to feel normal.

My partners bday is coming up and all I feel like doing is curl up in a ball and cry until I fall asleep hoping to wake up in 5 years...

After venting at the therapist, next week we'll explore where that pain is coming from... fun fun :(

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Cool rainbow

Some more chaos

No motorcycle :( my friend had an accident with it this morning. Thank goodness he's ok (only minor scrapes and muscle soreness)

But his motorcycle isn't. Bent handlebars (which he just changed!) Gear shifter ripped off and some scratches...

So I'm pretty bummed. Still no news about the stepdaughter situation. I guess she's still evaluating the pros and cons.

I'm not that excited about the weekend since all the kids are supposed to come over for thanksgiving. I like them individually but all together they have this weird super hyper energy that drains me out.

I miss my ex... a lot... especially when I'm triggered with blended families stuff. No clue if my ex has kids now but she didn't when we were together! Lol

It bugs me that I still miss her. I mean can I even still consider her an ex? It's been what at least 8 years if not 9...

It might also be a Scorpio thing... missing the one who got away.

I dunno... pretty sure I'd miss my current partner if I wasn't with her anymore... especially all those awesome intimate moments without the kids lol

Monday, October 6, 2014


Stuff keeps happening lately...

Saw the trainer today, gained 5 lbs instead of losing 4... oh well

I was pretty happy with my workouts but knew my food wasn't anywhere near optimal. (Saw "Fed up" documentary this weekend and I think cutting sugar off is the next step for me)

Had a breakthrough last time step daughter came over so that was nice. Wasn't able to talk to my therapist about it yet cause she cancelled on me (she was sick).

Had a setback during a family dinner for my dad's bday... can't wait to talk about that as well.

And yesterday I find out that the stepdaughter is strongly considering moving back with us. Not sure I'm ready for this... Not sure I have the option to wait since it's pretty crazy at her dad's.

So yeah can't wait to see my therapist!!

And I feared I wouldn't know what to talk about....

Work is boring while waiting to know what my official functions will be (I have several coworkers and friends in the same situation) so can't say I'm very motivated lately...

Thank goodness we have a long weekend coming up :D

That's it for now, my arms are killing me from my new workout lol

Friday, October 3, 2014

Almost done

Soooooo congested! Missed work yesterday cause I had slept about 3 hours the night before.

Slept most of the day yesterday and still went to bed exhausted...

Today I feel better though so I'm hoping to have more energy this weekend.

Tired of the post nasal drip thingie... and the blocked sinuses...

Didn't go to the pool this morning. Still not sure about dry land + swim practice tonight.

Tomorrow we're heading downtown cause my gf is meeting up with a friend of hers and her anxiety is preventing her from driving there alone. So I'll see if there's a gym nearby and I'll go for a workout while she's catching up with her friend.

Stepson finished is 4 days fast today. Happy we're done bringing him water. I love him and all but my partner and I feel that we've done enough for him so that next time he needs to find his own support crew instead of always relying on us...

Not much new besides that... motorcycle babysitting starts at the end of next week do I'm hoping the weather will be nice.

The trip to Florida is fast approaching so I'm getting excited!

And I just bought a new battery for the heart rate monitor if my Garmin and I find that exciting as well (insert your "you're a fitness freak when..." here ;))

I'm totally excited by the new garmin 920 I think? Dunno when I'll have the money for it but I want I want!!!!!!

Yeah I'm a technology freak... *bigbabypouts* I waaaaaaaaaant!!   

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Still sick-ish

Tired of being congested and being sleepy but overall I'm doing pretty good. Managed to go to the dry land + swimming practice Friday evening, 9k hike sat, took it easy Sunday but went swimming Mon.

I skipped the gym today but plan to go swim tomorrow so not bad at all considering I'm sick.

I want to do more though. I've been reading Shane Niemeyer's book and it's really motivating me to push myself more and stop having excuses.

I see my trainer next week and I'm not sure I've done enough to be under 240... I know it's just a number and my therapist is a big fan of healthy (or is it fit?) at every size but I really wanna get under 200!

That + Shane's book is getting me thinking about doing triathlons again (thinking about doing it again, not doing it again since I've never done one!)

Let's get this done!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Still sick btw

Didn't make it to the pool this morning but had a great 9k walk in the mountains yesterday. :)

Will see what I come up with to keep my streak going (I think I'm at 86 days now!) :) 


Booked my flight back from Florida! :D

My parents took me up on my offer to drive down to their mobile home in Florida with them, stay a couple of days and then fly back home.

It's going to be fuuuun!

Nothing beats making fun plans when you're lacking motivation a bit... :)

Friday, September 26, 2014

Tough week

Now I know why I was so sluggish at swim practice Wednesday.

I'm starting a cold :(((

This week has been very challenging on several levels. Being tired from a lack of sleep on top of that I guess it makes sense that I got sick. I can't even remember the last time I was sick... it's pretty rare now that I eat better + workout.

I'm hoping I'll be able to make it to the dry land + swim practice tonight but I'm not holding my breath. Perhaps if I can squeeze in a power nap.

Besides that not much... I'm not very motivated at work but still manage to get a lot done. Tomorrow I'm heading to my folks' for my dad's bday supper. We'll also discuss how to schedule theit drive down to Florida in order for me to be able to go with them. That'll be a nice break :)

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Old habits die hard

So I think my therapist is attractive... wouldn't you want to have the painful truths she tells you to be candy coated?

I know I do! ;)

So there I said it... :p

Getting better

Managed to go swim yesterday and go for a 5k run/walk with my partner this morning so I'm happy!

Our guest is leaving tonight. Although I feel their pain as I've had my share of long distance relationships, I'm looking forward to going back to our normal routine.

Had a huge session with the therapist yesterday. I'm still a work in progress but that session really meant a lot to me and has made me fully trust her and her competency. :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

frustrating week

So haven't done much this week. I did go swim on Sunday so that was great.

The rest of the week fell flat so far thanks to the step-son who lives with us and his English gf... Neither of them works or studies, so they're partying it up before she flies back to the UK.

They come back home at every hour of the night so my partner and I have a hard time sleeping. So the 5am wakeup call goes unanswered!

She's nice and all, but she and the step-son clearly are not mature enough to make compromises that would be suitable for everybody. And they don't have enough cash to rent a hotel room in order to do whatever they want whenever they want. (although contrarily to their beliefs, hotels also have rules... :P)

so yeah, I'm now counting down the days until she leaves! (2 more nights!!)

Besides that I feel good, really wanna try to save this week cause I've been doing great so far and I really wanna reach my goal of being under 240 when I see my trainer in 2 weeks.

In other news, my dad's bday is this week so will try to take it easy on the cake ;) he's starting off the bday season as after him it's my partner, then me, then her 3 kids... lots of cake! ;)

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Not too shabby

This week has been pretty good so far. I got up at 5 am everyday except this morning. Went to the pool twice and the gym once.

Last night my partner said she'd come to the gym with me this morning but today she changed her mind. And I did the same... oh well my knee was a bit sore so I guess a little break ain't too bad.

Back to the pool tomorrow morning + we will attend the masters' dry land session tomorrow night.

It's really fun to start being more and more active. I have no scale at home so won't find out my weight before my next appointment with the trainer and I like it that way. But I can tell that my body is changing and it's awesome!

Set clear goals with my therapist so I'm excited about that as well. Although I gotta say I've got my work cut out for me! She said not to worry about how we'll get there so I'm trusting her to bring me to destination!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

oh boy!

So I was sore all week from seeing my trainer on Monday!

I did manage to head to the gym close to my house at 6am Friday morning though :) next week my partner and I will be swimming 3-4 times a week. so I'm looking forward to that.

I plan to wake up each morning at pretty much the same time (5ish!) except on Saturday which shall be my sleeping in day (no alarms) and on Sunday maybe waking up at 6 to make it for the morning swim on Sunday mornings.

I'm always a bit nervous about going to a new place for the first time so I was nervous yesterday morning. but I quickly figured out how to do my regular workout with their weights and all that so I'm pretty happy.

seeing the trainer back in a month... aiming to be under 240lbs by then :)

oh and in other great news, it'll be 1 year since we sold our car! (I don't have the exact date but could prolly find out by looking through paperwork but who cares really?!?) a friend of ours is going to leave her car at our house for a couple of weeks while she's away... + I guess I did a good job babysitting my coworker's motorcycle cause he asked me to take care of it for 2 weeks in october :D

with new wheels and handlebars :))) it'll be a bit cold but I'm looking forward to it :D

this morning we went with Hector (our trusted bike trailer) to do our groceries about 15km away. At the beginning of the summer I was pulling empty Hector there while my partner was pulling full Hector back home but now I've finally managed to be stronger than my partner (although I must say in her case she has stronger leg muscles than me, but her joints are limiting her a bit). This morning she pulled empty Hector there and I pulled a fully loaded Hector back home!

We got back home just as the rain started and it's been raining hard all day afterwards so it felt good to take it easy at home sipping a cup of hot chocolate after doing our morning workout :))

so yeah, easy day tomorrow with laundry and a visit to the gym... will see if I can manage to head out for a run as well. my goal is to become a fitness freak (sorta! lol) so I can finally reach a healthier weight.

I'm pretty much done the introductions with my therapist. Next week we'll set clear goals together so I'll have a better idea of how she can help me.

Sunday, September 7, 2014


going back to work tomorrow... I don't wannaaaaaa!

It'll be nice to catch up with my coworkers and all, but I really looooooved my time off! I think it's the best vacation I've ever had!

We finished the week by doing a roadtrip to Niagara Falls. It was a lot of fun. :)

I did manage to get my 8k Fuelpoints/day for a week so I'm pretty excited!

Looking forward to seeing my trainer tomorrow and refocusing on numbers. My partner and I are also refocusing on finance numbers as we once again fell off track in our project to become financially independent. And now that we've had a glimpse of how life could be if I wasn't working 5 days a week, we want more!

We'll look into meeting with a financial planner soon in order to have a better action plan.

Still haven't started the your body is your own gym thingie yet, prolly this week.

The pool starts again next week, we'll try the early bird session (in the water at 6am!) we'll see how that goes!

so yeah, I'll go sulk the rest of the day away :( lol until next vacation! :D